April 24th, 2019 by Clement Okon. Email: clemdon.edu@gmail.com

Introduction

A stable marriage is a cocktail of open communication, honesty, hard work, and a whole lotta love. “In a stable (happy) marriage, two people share things equally,” says another married woman. “It doesn't sound romantic, but I'm honestly happy because my husband does the dishes and the laundry as often as I do”. Here, I presents to you four elements of a stable marriage.

1. Trust: To make complete trust a reality in your marriage, start by simply being honest with your spouse. Stop the petty lies. Don't fudge anything. And tell your spouse when you overspend on an item in your monthly budget.

Trust in marriage is extremely vital for   your marriage to thrive. Trust is also the most important thing that makes pursuing any relationship worthwhile. Without trust, a healthy marriage or relationship cannot exist. The questions are; can your marriage    survive without trust? Is it even possible to have a great marriage    without the complete trust of your wife or husband?

2. Respect: Mutual respect is a very simple concept. It means that you treat your spouse or partner in a thoughtful and courteous way. It means that you avoid treating each other in rude and disrespectful ways, e.g., you do not engage in name calling, and  do not insult or demean your spouse or partner.

Scripture teaches us that Christians should honour or respect all men (1 Peter 2:17). Every human being bears the image of God,  and so, of course, we are called on to respect and honour that. And  of course, Scripture also teaches us to love our neighbour (Leviticus 19:18), and Jesus in his famous story makes the point that our neighbour is whatever person God has placed right in front of us (Luke 10:29–37). So all Christians are to love everyone, and all Christians should honor everyone. That is the baseline.

But when we come down to the particular relationship of husbands to wives, and wives to husbands, Scripture gives us an important, additional emphasis. Husbands are told specifically to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Wives are told specifically to respect their husbands as the Church does Christ (Ephesians 5:33).

3. Accountability: In a healthy marriage, partners encourage, support, and help each other in a variety of ways. For example, the husband and the wife are both trying to move forward in their respective careers; they encourage each other and keep each           other motivated. Accountability is just another facet of that.

Accountability isn’t just a concern for recovering addicts.  It is crucial in any relationship, and it applies to both partners.  If either partner is acting in a way that is unhealthy for him or her, contrary to his or her stated goals or principles, or isn’t in the best interests of the relationship, it is the other partner’s responsibility to hold him or her accountable for that behaviour.

It is important to remember that it is not your job to punish or judge your spouse, or to force him or her to stop or change the unhealthy behaviour.  You are never responsible for your partner’s actions or decisions.  Your role as a spouse is simply to point out, firmly but lovingly, that your partner is getting off track.  What he or she does with that information is out of your hands.

4. Intimacy: To be truly intimate, you need to look your partner in the eyes during sex. “There is an elegant process by which people sell   themselves on the idea that sex is more romantic with the lights off, (Schnarch, 2007 in Trubek, 2010), "but that isn't the case. Eye contact usually   denotes connection, and sex without it limits your intimacy.